Why is it that in the very end, you always think about the very beginning?
Life and death. This year has brought both. The birth of my Mimi girl and the passing of my sweetest Margo puppy. I haven’t been hit this hard…ever. Grandparents grow old and you mentally prepare yourself for their departure. But losing a beloved family pet of 13 years (any years) suddenly to a seizure, well…nothing can prepare you for that. For the immediate hours that follow, the decision-making. The grief. The heaviness in your heart. The following days and hours when little moments remind you of their lacking presence in your life. Like how quiet it is at night without her snoring at the foot of my bed.
It’s been challenging to navigate my own emotions, let alone going through the loss of a loved one with loved ones. Freddie is so connected to Margo – we joke that she was his emotional service animal. Then there’s Lucy. Having to explain death to a toddler was not something I was prepared for. She tells me every day, “Mama I miss Gogo, how do we get her back?”or “Mama next time I’ll take care of Gogo.” It breaks my heart into so many pieces, my heart just aches and I weep with sorrow longing for her. I’m still in the trenches of this and I need to write as a form of processing. As a form of closure. Life is just so fragile and I have been devoting every ounce of longing to holding my babies just that much tighter.
Before Margo, I wrote for myself. I wrote for different outlets and publications, however, it wasn’t until she came into my life that she inspired the blog, Margo & Me. Each of these photos inspired so many of you and we were just having so much fun creating them! Although I changed the name a few years back, with her passing, it truly feels like the end of an era – I am also grieving this if I am being honest. A decade that was chalked full of adventure, discovery and love… so much love. And so much love from each of you who adored her appearances. So many of you lovingly reminded me that Margo & Me blog was when you first started following me. It’s a time I will forever cherish and it’s what inspired me to share these photos today.
Receiving her ashes last week was emotional, to say the least. Whenever I close my eyes and see her at her happiest, at her best, it was when she was frolicking on the beach – because that’s literally what she did. It wasn’t a run, it was a frolic! So we brought her back to our favorite beach on Long Beach Island. Just Freddie and I, for an intimate ceremony on Saturday night.
She passed the night of the super blue moon – August 30th. A Blue Moon is quite rare, happening when two full moons occur within the same month. Normally, there’s just one full moon in a month, showing up about every 29 days. But sometimes, if a full moon arrives at the start of the month, another one can happen before the month ends. This second one is called a Blue Moon, hence the saying “once in a blue moon.” Just like her little spirit and the love she gave us, it was one of those “once in a blue moon” loves that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives.
Margo Thumper-Marmont Cipoletti
November 20th, 2009 – August 30th, 2023
“For Gogo”
There are reminders of you everywhere, Gogo. Our bonds woven so intricately into the fabric of our lives, and now, as I stand here, surrounded by memories of you, it’s impossible not to feel your presence all around us. Every corner of our world still echoes your memories, as if you’ve never left. I close my eyes, and there you are.
You were always there, sleeping beneath my chair, lovingly standing by my side, and snuggling as we’d sleep. My constant, my shadow, my spirit animal, in your waking life, and now my spirit animal in your afterlife.
We were so blessed to have known your love, my sweet girl. As we stood by you in life, we stand by you in spirit with all of our love. We know you are divinely protected and I will forever remember you in our happiest moments together. The way you ran freely on the beach, playfully pouncing on the sheets and nuzzling your face in the soft towel after a warm bath. You loved being loved, and we cherished every moment of caring for you.
You were the one who brought us together and your presence inspired a creative journey we could have never imagined without you by our side. Your little face, so sweet and tenderness in your eyes. Your loving nature and curiosity for life. Your puppy energy so radiant even in your final days. You cherished every moment of this life, and you showered us with unconditional love. A kind of love we would have never experienced without you.
Your little paw on my leg and head on my lap as my belly would grow, it’s as if you knew. You experienced our love expand into not just one but two little souls who you wholeheartedly loved and protected from the day they both were born. It’s as if you waited, holding on as long as you could, just to witness our family and our love grow.
Navigating the loss of your physical presence in our lives will be one of the greatest challenges we’ll ever face. You were so deeply loved, my sweet girl, and you will always be a part of us.
“What we have once enjoyed we can never lose; all that we have loved deeply, becomes a part of us.” You are forever etched into our hearts, and though we say goodbye for now, love endures, and your spirit lives on. Somewhere between our first hello and our final goodbye, there was an abundance of love, an immeasurable bond that will transcend time and space. Rest in peace, dear Gogo, and know that you will always be cherished, deeply loved and remembered.
